My twitter Updates

Reasons given for petrol price increase

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Here we go again... fuel price increase! Just last month, Petrol prices went up by 10 sen a litre. The hike in crude oil prices worldwide went up to an all time high of USD$60 (around RM228) per barrel. Thus, rumours are flying around that the price increase will take place midnight tonight!

Here are reasons given by APEC for petrol price increase;

There were shortage over at the gulf... wait... we used that was last time.

Demand is increasing, or decreasing... something like that.

We're just want to test our how much can our petrol pumps count.

Price increase? Where got? It's GST only...

We're doing our part to reduce global warming.

Our auditors made us do it!

It's for charity.

We were hoping you wouldn't notice.

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posted by Ivan, 3:31 pm | link | 1 comments |

George W. Bush's Hotmail Hacked!

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Like Paris Hilton's T-Mobile, someone managed to 'hack' into George W. Bush's Hotmail account. This is a rare insight into George's inbox. Image hosted by

Amongst my favourite are:

Bin Laden - Attached is my itenerary for the next year
George Bush, Sr. - Idiot, I told you not to cry in front of the camera
Rumsfeld - I suggest we include Germany in the Axis of Evil

Click Here! to view! Image hosted by
posted by Ivan, 2:21 pm | link | 1 comments |

Joke of the Day: Women are impossible to please

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Whoah... it's been raining the whole day in Brisbane! With the dark coulds hanging overhead, it makes everything look and feel so gloomy. Anyways, here's something that cheered me up! Image hosted by

A store that sells husbands has just opened, where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

There are only 6 floors. It states that the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose any man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor.

This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building - and have a nice day!

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posted by Ivan, 11:51 am | link | 0 comments |

1 Utama: TGV vs GSC

Monday, June 27, 2005

GSC just opened its 13-screen cineplex in 1 Utama this week! Most of the people I've met told me to watch a movie in GSC 1 Utama for an 'experience'... more leg space, better sound system, brighter and wider walkway, better picture... and it's new (obviously)!

This would mean that TGV 1 Utama would need to brush up and improve to get it's customers back. Nowadays, ppl just bitch about TGV 1 Utama... frequent breakdowns, crackly sound, long lines (only 2 counters open during peak time?), rude staff, dim walkway... yadda yadda yadda...! I guess it's natural when ppl start to comparing you when your competition open just round the corner. The best thing about this is... the guys over at TGV 1 Utama ain't doing anything about it!

I've worked there 6 years ago for 2 years and today, that cinema has taken a turned for the worst! It's sad really. I guess the management must realise that going to the cinema is a magical experience and thus, they should make it a memorable one. Yups.. the staff always made it a memorable one... a bad one! Me and my friends recently got screwed by the manager because the ticketing guy keyed in the wrong time and we did not check (we assumed it to be correct) and thus, unable to get our refund or change to another time! C'mon.. I've worked there before and all you need is press a couple of keys... and the manager says it's A NEW POLICY! What BS!

Anyways, who cares now... with GSC open, patrons will be able to have an option. Not for me tough... I'm in Brisbane now and 1 movie ticket cost like AUD14! Ouch!! Image hosted by
posted by Ivan, 12:20 am | link | 2 comments |

Things you DON'T want to hear from your pilot

Friday, June 24, 2005

I've arrived safely in Australia and the one noticeable difference is the temperature. It's 11 degrees Celsius now! What a change!

Anyways, this is one of the most interesting flights to Australia to date. Firstly, the flight was delayed for an hour... due to technical problem and once the problem was rectified, there was a problem with 'the external power supply'. Meanwhile, there was this lady sitting behind me who was drunk (too much vodka!), a lady sitting diagonally behind me with a medical condition (the crew had to bring the oxygen tank in), and a couple found in the toilet... together. Image hosted by

Interesting... anyways, here are things you DON'T want to hear from your pilot;

Hey, you know any shortcuts?

We're cruising at an altitude of 40 feet

Ladies and gentlemen, please fastened you seat belts. We'll be doing a barrel roll in 3 minutes.

Hey.. why is that red light still blinking?!


Anyone seen my parachute?

Your co-pilot for today is Mr. Jim Beam... heh heh heh!

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posted by Ivan, 10:16 pm | link | 2 comments |

Funny Sign Board in the Park

This signboard is taken at the Taman Tun park. Notice the top right sign. Yups... no kissing/cuddling in the park Image hosted by hahaha.. my gf finds this sign rather amusing.

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posted by Ivan, 12:32 am | link | 0 comments |

Last Post from Malaysia

This will be my last post from Malaysia as I'll begin a new chapter of my life in Australia. Since handling in my last day of work letter, I've been running around settling some stuff and spending some time with my parents and friends. How time flies! 1 1/2 months forward, it's time to go I guess.

The last few days have been a blast as I've managed to meet up and catch up with old classmates and friends. Thank you guys for the surprise farewell party, dinner and lunches! Image hosted by Now, I'm feeling mixed emotions as I prepare to leave... excited, fear for the uncertainty and of course sad at the same time.

Anyways for this blog, everything will be as usual as I'll continue to blog to keep you guys entertained. Image hosted by

See you in down under, mate!
posted by Ivan, 12:22 am | link | 2 comments |

Movie review: Initial D

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Adapted from the successful Japanese anime/manga, Initial D follows the tale of Takumi (Jay Chou) who delivers tofu in his father's Toyota AE86 every morning. After five years, not only has he become a good racer, he perfected the art of drifting as well!

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Initially, I had the perception that the producers of the movie was banking highly on Jay Chou's popularity, but after watching the movie, that was not the case. Other actors such as Edison Chen, Anne Suzuki and Shawn Yue were impressive in the movie. They add to the 'cool' factor of the movie. Other actors such as Chapman To and Anthony Wong out did themselves in this movie and added a touch of humour to the movie. Of course for first time actor Jay, he did a fabulous job potraying the clueless/shy Takumi. Good all round cast I would say.

The best part of the movie is the race/drifting action! The well planned camera angles put the audiences right in the heat of action! Visually, this is the best racing action I've ever seen on the silver screen. The effects are done just right and nothing too elaborate to make it look unrealistic (like the Fast and the Furious). Futhermore, the scenery are just breathtaking! The aerial shot of Mt. Akina shows how the serene country side can be turned into a race/drifting track.

What's a movie without a soundtrack? The music for suits the movie well with a few rap and R&B number. The fast paced music during the race adds to the excitement without drowning the sound of the engines and the tyre screeching as the cars race downhill. Well done in the sound dept (wish the cinema had a better sound system!).

Overall, an excellent movie! One of the best I've seen this year and I really enjoyed it. It has Good story (although it doesn't follow the actual manga script), well rounded cast, excellent sound and visual effects to keep you on the edge of your TGV seats. I guess if you're into cars or a race fan, I highly recommend this movie. If you're not, go anyways... you'll enjoy it. Image hosted by

Ratings (Scale of 1 to 5, 5 being the highest)

Cast : 5
Sound : 5
Picture : 5
Storyline: 4.5

posted by Ivan, 5:32 pm | link | 1 comments |

One Utama's Initial D Movie Carnival

The Initial D Movie Carnival was held in One Utama's open air car park (new Wing). There were drifting demonstrations by R3, Street Shootout Champs, display of Japan GT race cars, modified cars and the Toyota AE86 Trueno used in the movies and appearance of the movie cast and not forgetting the race queens as well.

I arrived at One Utama around 5++. Later than expected due to bad traffic! Image hosted by Nonetheless, had no trouble making my way to the open air car park and you can see the crowd around the Drift area. As expected, the crowd were mostly teenagers hoping to see their idol- Jay Chow, Shawn Yue or Edison Chen (pick one).

I hung around the drift area for 10 minutes and noticed that nothing is happening and then made my way to the exhibiton area. Not bad I would say... there were many cars and parts on display. There were crowd around the Digi booth hoping to get free movie posters and other freebies.

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Nothing really exciting and IMHO, the young crowd were there to catch a glipse of the cast. I guess it's rather hard to see the stage from anywhere due to the distance. It was until 6pm that the announcer informed the crowd that the cast will only take stage at 7:30pm.

I hung around till 6:20pm hoping to get a glimpse of the drift competition but nothing started. I then made my way up to the multi-storey car park to have a better view of the event.

At around 6:30pm the event started with modified cars taking on the track. Some cars were excellent to watch and some were just... funny. Especially when a mini (looks like Mr. Beans' car) came out... everyone cheered/laughed... the driver misjudge a corner and did it did a 360. What a sight!

As the stage was beyond the visual range, I didn't bother waiting for the cast and head off for dinner. Image hosted by

Click Here! for the photo album.
posted by Ivan, 2:49 am | link | 0 comments |

Famous schoolmates and Top 10 signs that you are famous

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Had dinner with my high school buddy, Johan or popularly known as JFK of and TV3's Mentor fame. It's interesting to note that we seldom meet up eventough we stay 2 minutes drive from each other.

Nonetheless, we had a great time chatting over dinner and catching up on old times and it's amazing how time flies! It seems like it was yesterday when we cycled around to see each other and talked about everything under the sun. Yup! Those were the FUN days. Image hosted by

We had a walk around after dinner and coincidentally, we met another of our schoolmate... 'Lah' of the popular R&B group V.E.

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(L to R: JFK, Ivan and Lah)

Since I've managed to meet up with 2 of my famous schoolmates, here are Top 10 signs that you're famous;

10. When strangers ask you to take picture WITH them and not FOR them.

9. When your hotel concierge claims you threw the phone AT him.

8. When your neighbour starts taking photographs of you in the mornings.

7. When you see blogs... about your blog.

6. When you're married to Britney Spears... for one day.

5. When you have image, publicity, speech consultants telling you what to do... when you're go the toilet.

4. When your video with Paris Hilton turns up on the internet.

3. When your neighbour's photographs appear on URTV.

2. When you have your own reality show and for 12 weeks, all you say is... you're fired!

1. When you have email viruses named after you.

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posted by Ivan, 2:21 am | link | 1 comments |

Signs that TM is monitoring you

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

The Cabinet has recently approved recommendations to restrict access to smut via personal computers. Amognst the recommended measures include getting the ISPs to provide Internet users an optional service to filter out obscene and indecent content.

Hmm... I doubt the filters will be effective blocking access to adult-oriented websites at the service provider end, 'cos tech-savvy users would find a way of getting around the filters. I wouldn't be surprised if our ISP, such as TM, starts monitoring our individual internet traffic to curb this major concern.

Anyways, here are some signs that TM is monitoring you.

That TM guy seem to be fixing that telephone pole behind your house for weeks.

You always get Error 404 while trying to access or screenshots.

You noticed a white unmarked van parked infront of your house for days.

You always get 'Your search did not match any documents' while searching for The Sarong Party Girl Controversy on Google.

Every MP3 you downloaded sounds awfully familiar... Negaraku!

That TM guy who is fixing your telephone pole just followed you into the LRT.

Every time you turn around the shuffling sound stops and that TM phone booth with the rosak sign seems to have gotten a little closer.

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posted by Ivan, 2:42 am | link | 1 comments |

How to spot a Bully

Monday, June 20, 2005

The headlines on Saturday issue of The Star screams 'Bullies in VI'. It seems the bullying scourge has now hit one of the country's premier schools - Victoria Institution in Kuala Lumpur. Image hosted by Six students from the school were questioned by the police over the assault of a Form Three boy.

Here's the question, how do you spot a bully? Here are some signs to help you avoid this nasty person...

He'll come up to you and say that you're hiding some weapons and demands that you surrender them.

If you choose to defy him, he'll beat the crap out of you and finds nothing.

He'll give you an ultimatum... either you're with him or against him.

He'll beat the crap out of you and says it's a pre-emptive strike.

He'll brand you as the 'Axis of evil'.

He'll say that you're habouring terrorist and threatens to beat the crap out of you if you do not co-operate.

He'll beat the crap out of you and say that he helped restore democracy.


Wait... I think I've got the wrong list. This post should be renamed, Things George W Bush did in office.

Image hosted by Sorry.
posted by Ivan, 10:42 am | link | 1 comments |

F1: What a pathetic race!

At the US Grand Prix this morning, all 7 Michelin runners pulled straight into the pits after the formation lap, leaving only the Ferraris (what else is new?), Jordans, and Minardis on the grid, with Michael Schumacher predictably lead and won the Grand Prix.

Earlier, Michelin had announced that its teams would not race unless a chicane was added at turn 13 to slow the entry speed onto the banked corner. However, no work was carried out, and Renault, McLaren, Toyota, BAR, Williams, Sauber, and Red Bull all pulled their cars out of the race in the interest of driver safety.

What a shame! I'm actually quite disgusted that the FIA cannot find a resolution to this problem. This has of course worked well for FIA's buddy... the Ferrari's. It came to light that 9 teams out of 10, including Jordan and the Minardi (on Bridgestone tyres) want to put a chicane in turn 13. The FIA say no because their buddy did not agree. Image hosted by

The Michelin teams have agreed to take penalties post-race for this change in favour of putting on a show for the public and the well-being of the sports, but the pathetic-self-centered Ferrari have refused that.

Image hosted by It's darn early in the morning now... zzzzz
posted by Ivan, 3:13 am | link | 7 comments |

Funny Burger Ad

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Was surfin' the internet and I stumbled upon this hilarious ad. Mos Burger! Too bad there aren't any outlets left in Malaysia.

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posted by Ivan, 2:04 am | link | 1 comments |

Top 10 Things Men Know About Women

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Was having a discussion a couple of days back with one of my friend over a meal on the topic of what women know about men and vice versa. IMHO men are more predictable and thus in a way, easier to know what they are thinking of. Women? Well in general, these are the top 10 things men know about women...











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posted by Ivan, 2:10 am | link | 3 comments |

Movie Review: Batman Begins

Friday, June 17, 2005

Caught this movie a couple of days ago and I would say this time round, the Batman franchise managed to salvage the damage caused by Joel Schumacher (remember the George Clooney FatBatman?). I've actually written a more comprehensive review but I pressed the $%^&* X button by mistake Image hosted by and thus, I've lost most of my intended post. Anyways... here's a trimmed down version.

As with many origin films in a superhero franchise, it takes a loooong time to get our hero into his actual costume. The early training scenes are intriguing if nothing particularly new – Liam Neeson's character pushing the hero around like those you see on Jackie Chan's kung-fu movies. The film really comes to life when Bruce Wayne returns to Gotham and with the help of his butler Alfred (Michael Caine) sets the wheels in motions for the birth of Batman. Wayne uses his wealth and the military facilities of his father’s company to construct an armoured suit, electrically-powered cape, tank-like Batcar and all sorts of James Bond-ish gizmos...

Initially, everything about Batman Begins is very serious. Unlike the Spiderman franchise, which is fun to watch and you somehow get the feel for the unlucky Peter Parker. In Bruce Wayne's case, I somehow didn't get the feel for the character. I guess somehow the director Christopher Nolan failed to give an insight of the character. Don't get me wrong Image hosted by, like Tim Burton's Batman, Nolan certainly manange to capture the darkness of the story, and Bale is convincing as a tormented man who walks a fine line between hero and dangerous vigilante.

For me, the one who stole the show is Alfred, who instills a little sense of fun with a few funny one-liners. The action scenes are nothing special, it's just not enough variety I guess... a lot of car chasing and punch-ups. The main villains this time round are Ra's Al Ghul and Scarecrow. Not bad I would say... not as memorable as Jack Nicholson’s Joker or Danny De Vito’s Penguin, but for once Batman isn’t over-shadowed by his evil co-stars.

Nonetheless, with the current CGI technology, Gotham City is realised on scale previously unimaginable, with incredible cityscapes and a fusion of 1940s Chicago-gangland-styled buildings and 21st Century sleek designs.

Overall, an enjoyable movie to watch and it's actually worth watching Image hosted by BTW, it's a 2 1/2 hours film and IMHO, the first hours was... torture... but the movie picked up in the middle and it managed to gain enough momentum to end it with a bang! For once, the Batman franchise looks promising.

Ratings (Scale of 1 to 5, 5 being the highest)

Cast : 4
Sound : 4
Picture : 4
Storyline: 4

posted by Ivan, 2:34 am | link | 0 comments |

Batman of the Sith

Thursday, June 16, 2005

What if Batman was in the Star Wars universe?

Click Here! to check this hilarious trailer out! (Note: 2.83MB, WMV format)

Enjoy! Image hosted by
posted by Ivan, 3:23 pm | link | 0 comments |

Things you DON'T want to hear from Batman

Managed to catch Batman Begins yesterday and tomorrow I'll post my take on the movie. Meanwhile, here are some things you DON'T want to hear from Batman...

Do you know where the nearest Toys "R" Us is? I ran out of Bat-a-rang.

Can I borrow your mobile phone? I want to call JPJ, my car kena clamp.

'scuse me miss, do you know where Jalan Raja Chulan is?

Ah-neh, limau ais kurang manis satu!

Did you see my Bat-mobile that was parked here just now? Big, black and one large exhaust?

Need... to... go... toilet...

umm.. where did you buy that DVD?

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yeah... I enjoyed the movie.
posted by Ivan, 2:00 am | link | 1 comments |

Signs Your Boss Is Spying On You

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

How do you know if your boss is actually spying on you? Here are a few starters that might be of help:

Wherever you go you're followed by a potted plant in loafers.

The bracelet he gave you for Christmas blinks if you leave your work station/ cubicle.

Your name:"Ivan." Next to your parking spot: "Reserved for the guy following Ivan"

Your new secretary looks a lot like that chick from "Alias"

Instead of photos of wife and kids on his desk, he has a photo of you sleeping.

When you're alone in the men's room, a voice tells you to quit blocking the lens.

There seem to be a blinking red light inside the smoke detector.

The fax machine just coughed.

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posted by Ivan, 12:37 am | link | 9 comments |

In Prison vs At Work

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Ahh... another day at work! Just in case you ever got the two mixed up, this should make things a bit more clear....

IN spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
AT spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.

IN get three meals a day.
AT only get a break for one meal and you pay for it.

IN get time off for good behavior.
AT get more work for good behavior.

IN PRISON...the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN can watch TV and play games.
AT get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT can't speak to your family.

IN PRISON...all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required.
AT get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK...they are called managers.

posted by Ivan, 3:05 am | link | 0 comments |

F1: Kimi Wins Dramatic Canadian GP

Monday, June 13, 2005

What a dramatic Canadian Grand Prix! After a disappointing outing at the European GP two weeks ago, Kimi Raikkonen got his revenge by winning the race in Canada and getting a huge boost in the World Championship after his key rivals, including world championship leader Alonso, failed to finish.

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The incident filled Grand Prix saw the front-runners, Renault drivers' Alonso and Fisichella retiring, Jenson Button ($%^&*, could've been a McLaren 1-2) hitting 'the wall of champions' and Juan Pablo Montoya disqualified for going through the red light in the pit lane (something he learned in Malaysia, perhaps?). All this of course worked out well for Ferrari's Michael Schumacher and Rubens Barrichello who took an unlikely second and third.

Nontheless, it would've been an excellent race IF Montoya did not run the red light coming out of the pit lane. Imagine, a McLaren 1-2! ;) Next race maybe...

The current Drivers' World Championship Standings:

1 F Alonso (Spa) 59
2 K Raikkonen (Fin) 37
3 J Trulli (Ita) 27
4 N Heidfeld (Ger) 25
5 M Schumacher (Ger) 24
posted by Ivan, 10:13 am | link | 2 comments |

Liverpool to defend crown!

Saturday, June 11, 2005

Good news for Liverpool fans! Looks like the Reds will be allowed to defend their Champions League trophy next season and the rules have been changed to ensure the holders will always qualify for the following season's competition, UEFA.

That would mean that England will have five representatives in the competition -- champions Chelsea, runners-up Arsenal, Manchester United, Everton and Liverpool. It is the first time any country has had more than four representatives and, according to UEFA, will be the last.

Therefore, from next season, a club winning the Champions League but finishing outside their country's allocation will qualify automatically at the expense of the lowest of the clubs above them.

However, Liverpool will have to play six qualifying matches just to reach the qualifying stage of the Champions League. Thus, to retain the Champions League title, Liverpool would have to play 19 matches (!).
posted by Ivan, 12:50 am | link | 1 comments |

LOST Season 2 Secret Preview

Friday, June 10, 2005

Just finished watching the season finale of the excellent LOST. Yups... the cliffhanger opened up more questions than answers. Anyways, for those of you (like myself) who can't seem to wait for the second season of LOST, there is now a special teaser preview online.

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There is now an official website for LOST that is named after the Oceanic 815. If you head over to Oceanic-Air, you can now roam the site and hopefully pick up a few easter eggs along the way. One of the easter eggs is a nice little teaser preview of the second season.

For those of you who are still watching the first season or want to avoid spoilers, skip the remaining paragraphs. ;)

Ok, follow the instructions below:

1. Head over to the Oceanic-Air site.
2. Look to the bottom of the page where it says Travellers. You will see options to type in your own numbers. What numbers could it be?
3. Remember Hurley's winning lottery number? 4, 8, 15, 16, 23 and 42.
4. Submit the above numbers and you will be taken to a flight seating chart.
5. Right under the chart you will see a row of numbers. Click the same numbers listed above in the same order.
6. Once you click the last number the teaser should start.
7. Enjoy!
posted by Ivan, 12:17 am | link | 0 comments |

Top 15 rejected Star Wars TV Shows

Thursday, June 09, 2005

George Lucas has confirmed that he's working on the Star Wars TV show, a live-action series that will be set in the time between Episodes III and IV, but won't feature the main characters. Production is expected to begin in about a year.

According to an insider, a preliminary brainstorming session were held and these were a some of the ideas for the Star Wars TV show which were... rejected.

Top 15 rejected Star Wars TV Shows
15. Force'd
14. The Emperor's next top Sith
13. Anakin in the Middle
12. Pimp My X-Wing
11. Whose Force Is It Anyway?
10. The Fresh Princess of NaBoo
9. Two Jedi, a Princess and a Wookiee
8. Darth Trump's "The Sith Apprentice"
7. Jedi Idol
6. Who Wants to be a Sith Lord
5. Survivor XII: Tatooine
4. CSI: Coruscant
3. Everybody Loves Palpatine
2. Joe Jedi
1. Queer Eye for the Jedi

posted by Ivan, 12:35 am | link | 1 comments |

Washing the Cat Automatically- An Instruction Guide

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Having a hard time washing your cat? Have no fear! Here's a simple solution that you can use to turn this chore into a fun one!

Things Needed:
1 Cat Shampoo
1 Toilet with toilet bowl and lid
1 Cat (duh!)

1. Clean the toilet thoroughly.

2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted.

3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids .. (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape)
CAUTION : Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for any purchase they can find. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a powerwash-and-rinse which I have found to be quite effective.

6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.

The Dog
posted by Ivan, 12:57 am | link | 1 comments |

If Microsoft developed Proton Cars

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Proton will be launching the new Proton Savvy tomorrow. The compact car - the first to be launched by Proton this year, will have a 1.2 liter engine capacity, strongest body in its class, fastest in its category, Lotus-inspired engineering and spacious interior. (According to the marketing materials.)

Nonetheless, I want to take a swipe at Proton and #$%&^ Microsoft and what better way to do that than a Top 10 list! ;)

If Microsoft developed Proton Cars...

1. Proton cars will be named: Proton NT, Proton 98, Proton ME, Proton 2000 and Proton XP.

2. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

3. Every month you'll receive an email or news release that recommends you to bring the car back to the factory for a 'critical security patch'.

4. Occasionally, your car would die on the highway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.

5. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your
car's airbag to pop-up with numerous irritating ads.

6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

7. The fuel tank, water temperature, and battery warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

8. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

9. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

10. You'd have to press the "Start > Turn Off Car > Shut Down" button to turn the engine off.
posted by Ivan, 12:56 am | link | 0 comments |

Another Funny Sign Board

Monday, June 06, 2005

What th...

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Can't really see the fine print. :O
posted by Ivan, 1:21 am | link | 2 comments |

50 Fun Things To Do With Your iPod

Saturday, June 04, 2005

Whoah! I love my iPod mini! :) There many interesting things you can do with the iPod and lately, I'm into Podcast... IMHO the next big thing. Anyways, Jason Kottke has compiled a list of 50 hacks, tips, tricks and other fun stuff that you can do with your iPod. Quite an impressive list of things for a relatively new gadget. :)

A few of my favorites:

#1 - Make your own pirate radio station

#11 - Get it a tatoo

#18 - Mix drinks at the bar

#23 - Read your favorite weblogs

#43 - Wake up to your mp3 collection

Anything else that should be on the list?
posted by Ivan, 12:54 pm | link | 1 comments |

Things NOT to say when caught speeding

Friday, June 03, 2005

Looks like the Police restarted their operation to nab traffic offenders who have not paid up their fines again... codenamed Ops Warta IV (Sounds dramatically like Episode IV: Ops Warta).

Anyways, I've listed out some excuses that you should NOT use when caught speeding ler. You know.. just in case you panic:

Alamak... I have no idea how fast I was going - tapi my beer sudah tumpah.

ummm... tak bawak lesen.

Encik, I no speak the Bahasa... only England I is speak.

Nasty little Polisss, we hatess them, don't we preciouss?

Mana tau berapa laju! You tell me le... Encik kan pegang radar!

Umm.. brek rosak.

Mana tau itu kereta Encik... I ingat gangster kejar!

posted by Ivan, 12:22 am | link | 1 comments |

Warning Labels on Beer Containers

Thursday, June 02, 2005

According to major headlines yesterday, the government are now trying to discourage Malaysians from consuming alcohol. According to Health minister Datuk Dr Chua, saying No to booze is the latest component to be included in the ministry’s healthy lifestyle campaign.

Don't waste time on ads on TV or billboards. Look at the lack lustreTak Nak campaign, what a waste of $$$. Here's my suggestion, warning labels are to be placed immediately on all beer containers to make aware the consequence of drinking. Here are some examples:

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are actually like Chris Tucker.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like William Hung.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the heck happened to your trousers.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers like Stephen Chow.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember)

WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big German gwai-lo named FRANZ.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
posted by Ivan, 1:07 am | link | 2 comments |

Using Google in schools

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

As the goverment push towards the smart school concept, I wonder if this will ever happen...

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posted by Ivan, 12:12 am | link | 2 comments |