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Funny: Bush Bathroom Break

Friday, September 30, 2005

hehehe... is that time of the day where I poke fun of Mr. Bush... Here's a good one...

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During a meeting of the UN General Assembly, President Bush was caught on camera scribbling a note informing Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice that he needed to take a "bathroom break." In what is sure to go down as one of Bush's most embarrassing moments, Bush wrote, "I think I MAY NEED A BATHroom break? Is this possible?"

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posted by Ivan, 9:23 pm | link | 0 comments |

Moving up!

Thursday, September 29, 2005

muahahaha...! My Yahoo! Fantasy Football is moving up the ladder...

Sentinels

Points: 738.5
Overall Rank: 115
Percentile: 99th
Rank Change: +178
posted by Ivan, 7:39 pm | link | 0 comments |

How-to: Naming Hurricanes

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Was just thinking... how do they name hurricanes? Will they run out of names? Here's an interesting articale from a forum:

The naming of Hurricanes has a long and interesting history. For many centuries, hurricanes in the West Indies were named after particular Catholic saint's days on which they occurred. Hurricane "San Felipe" struck Puerto Rico on September 13, 1876. When another hurricane struck Puerto Rico on the same day more than fifty years later, it was christianed "San Felipe the second."

Later, latitude-longitude positions were used, but this method quickly proved cumbersome.

Military weather forecasters began giving women's names to significant storms during WWII, then in 1950 the WMO agreed to an alphabetical naming system, using the military's radio code. The first named Atlantic hurricane was Able in 1950.

Officials soon realized the naming convention would cause problems in the history books if more than one powerful Hurricane Able made landfall. So, in 1953 the organization adopted a rotating series of women's names, planning to retire names of significant storms.

Feminists urged the WMO to add men's names, which was done in 1979. The boy-girl-boy-girl naming convention evolved to include French and Spanish names in the Atlantic system, reflecting the languages of the nations affected by Carribean hurricanes.

The twenty-one names reserved each year (the letters q, u, x, y and z are not used) are recycled every six years, minus those retired (such as Hugo and Andrew and, you can bet, Katrina). When a name is retired, the WMO chooses a new name to replace it.

The year with the most documented tropical storms was 1933, when there were 21 in the Atlantic Basin, but this was before hurricanes were routinely named.

So... Rita is the 17th named storm in the Atlantic Basin this year. There are only four left. What will officials do after tropical storm Wilma develops, assuming it does?

According to a spokesman for the National Hurricane Center, Greek alphabet will be used. This gives the World Meteorological Organization (WMO), the United Nations agency responsible for choosing hurricane names, 24 more names to work with, from Alpha to Omega, and including such names as Omicron and Upsilon.
posted by Ivan, 6:43 pm | link | 0 comments |

Joke of the day: Brazillion?

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

It's only Tuesday and I wish it is Friday! Hahaha.. nvm, 3 more days to go! Yeah.. when you start working, you wish everyday is a weekend.

Anyways, here's a joke to cheer you up...

Condoleezza Rice is giving the president his daily briefing. She concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"
posted by Ivan, 6:08 pm | link | 0 comments |

F1: It's all over for Kimi!

Monday, September 26, 2005

It's all over for Kimi Raikkonen... McLaren did all they could to stop Fernando Alonso clinching the World title in Brazil early this morning. Alonso finished behind the two McLarens, but that's all he need to clinch the World title and in doing so became Formula One's youngest-ever World Champion.

On an up note, the McLarens got their first 1-2 since 2000, something which, IMHO been long overdue. But it was all a little too late and all eyes were on renault as it took the chequered flag. oh well, it's been an entertaining season with no red car in sight. haha!

Oh well, at least we still have the Contructor's championship to look fwd to. Here's the latest standing with two more races to go.

Constructor Standings
1 McLaren 164
2 Renault 162
3 Ferrari 98
4 Toyota 81
5 BMW-Williams 59
7 BAR 33
6 Red Bull 27
8 Sauber 17
9 Jordan 12
10 Minardi 7
posted by Ivan, 6:13 pm | link | 0 comments |

My new z800i...!

Sunday, September 25, 2005

After one year with my trusty K700i, I've decided to change to a 3G phone... Z800i! The best thing is, I don't have to pay anything for the phone! heh heh... yeah, it's the 3, 24-month $49 cap plan offer.

Since I'm using on average of $50-$60 per month on my prepaid account, it makes sense to change to a cap plan (since I don't have to pay more if I use more than $49).

The phone looks good! The big difference was the display screen. It's bigger than that of the K700i. The menu is exactly the same and there were no major difference in functionality besides the additional memory card slot for all your mp3 needs.

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For me, eventough ppl might say that it's bulkier, it doesn't really feel like that... I guess you can go for the K608i if you are really into lighter 3G phone.
posted by Ivan, 12:27 pm | link | 0 comments |

Funny car for sale ad...

Friday, September 23, 2005

Check this out... hehe... I reckon it's a good deal. Don't you think so?

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posted by Ivan, 10:44 pm | link | 0 comments |

Management Lesson: How to put the right ppl in the right job

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Here a good management joke... yeah yeah... it's been awhile since I done this too! Anyways, here's an experiment for you to try. This is particularly for Companies who have a problem putting the right person to the right job.

Required resources:
100 bricks
2-3 candidates
1 closed room with an open window


Directions
Put 100 bricks in no particular order in the room. Then send candidates into the room and close it from outside. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours, and then analyze the situation.

Checklist
If they are counting and recounting the number of bricks - PUT THEM IN ACCOUNTS DEPT.

If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks - PUT THEM IN ENGINEERING

If they are arranging the bricks in some other order - PUT THEM IN PLANNING.

If they are throwing the bricks at each other - PUT THEM IN OPERATIONS.

If they are sleeping - PUT THEM IN SECURITY.

If they have broken the bricks into pieces - PUT THEM IN INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY.

If they are sitting idle - PUT THEM IN HUMAN RESOURCE DEPT.

If they have thrown the bricks out of the window - PUT THEM IN THE MATERIALS DEPT.

If they are clinging onto the bricks - PUT THEM IN TREASURY.

If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has moved - PUT THEM IN SALES.

If they have already left for the day - PUT THEM IN MARKETING.

If they are staring out of the window - PUT THEM IN STRATEGIC PLANNING

AND finally....

If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved - PUT THEM IN TOP MANAGEMENT.
posted by Ivan, 3:37 pm | link | 4 comments |

Things you can do in a drive-thru...

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

It's been awhile since I've done any things you can do when... joke. Anyways, I've been thinking for quite awhile and I noticed that drive-thru are rather popular nowadays. It's fast, convenient and of course... you don't have to queue behind that lady with 5 kids who seem to want 5 different happy meals!

Here are some fun things you can in a drive thru:

Say that this order is for ta pau (takeaway in contonese).

Drive in backwards and let your back seat passenger make the order.

At midnight, ask if you are too early for McDonald Breakfast.

When asked if they can take your order, tell them you are just looking and drive off.

Tell them you have to use the bathroom - don't Order anything!

Order a hamburger, no bun with two tomato ketchup - Thats all.

When asked if they can take your order, ask them for directions to Sunway Pyramid.

When they hand you your order, trade with them a bag back with all the rubbish from your car in it.

Beep your horn the whole way through the line and start shouting #$%^&*!!.

Pretend like your window is broken. Tell the employee your order by doing charades!
posted by Ivan, 4:17 pm | link | 0 comments |

Working late...

Monday, September 19, 2005

Whoah..! I'm the only one left in the office and it's only 7pm. Yeah.. got some reports to do and since I'll out in the mornings for the next few days for workshops, seminars and training, I just thought I wanna clear my workload.

It's gonna be a long long week.. sigh!

I'm listening to my ipod mini with Jay Chao on my playlist... interestingly enough, I find his songs most soothing at this hour.. hahaha..

Better get back to work, mate.
posted by Ivan, 5:05 pm | link | 0 comments |

'Interesting' News

Sunday, September 18, 2005

This is quite funny... according to AFP, a Japanese woman who hired a "hitman" over the Internet to murder her lover's pregnant wife has been arrested - after she complained to police that he never carried out the killing despite being paid $US136,000.

Police said they had arrested Eriko Kawaguchi, a 32-year-old rescuer at Tokyo Fire Department, as well as 40-year-old Koji Tabe, a self-proclaimed detective who allegedly promised to kill the woman with a deadly chemical.

In January, Kawaguchi found Tabe's phone number on "contract murder" websites and asked him to kill her lover's wife after learning the woman was pregnant, a police official said.

"Kawaguchi is single and has told police investigators that she felt betrayed by him after learning about his wife's pregnancy," he said.

Kawaguchi paid Tabe some 15 million yen for the contract murder but grew suspicious when Tabe had still failed to carry out the killing seven months later.

Frustrated with the lack of progress in the murder plan, Kawaguchi went to the police in July to complain about the scam.

Police were investigating whether Tabe actually tried to kill the woman.

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posted by Ivan, 12:59 pm | link | 1 comments |

Pic: CN Tower, Toronto Canada

Friday, September 16, 2005

Guys... if you ever go to Toronto, Canada, you should have a look at the CN tower as it is the highest tower in the northern hemisphere. It's got a glass floor which you can walk on and look all the way down to the ground. I think it is over 40 stories but not too sure. You can practically see all over Toronto city.


This pic was taken by my mate on a trip to Canada.





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posted by Ivan, 3:48 pm | link | 1 comments |

Day out of office...

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Was at a 1-day course on risk management. Not too bad I would say... it was somewhat relevant to my job.

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posted by Ivan, 6:07 pm | link | 0 comments |

Finally, someone got it right!

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

This pic came from Sky1 news... are they talking about Katrina or Bush? haha... took them more then 5 years to get that. Nevertheless, it's newsworthy.

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posted by Ivan, 4:10 pm | link | 0 comments |

Interesting Facts...

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Been busy at work doing weekly and monthly reports... it feels like a never ending loop... week after week. One report after another and another... sigh... Anyways, this is something amusing yet funny (but crude) at the same time.

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced
enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.


(Hardly seems worth it.)


If you passed wind consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is
produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.


(Now that's more like it!)


The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out of the body to
squirt blood 30 feet.


(O.M.G.!)


A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.


(In my next life, I want to be a pig. )


A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to
death.
(Creepy.)


(I'm still not over the pig.)


Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.


(Do not try this at home..... maybe at work.)


The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to
its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.


("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")


The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping
the length of a football field.


(30 minutes... lucky pig.. can you imagine??)


The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.


(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)


Some lions mate over 50 times a day.


(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)


Butterflies taste with their feet.


(Something I always wanted to know.)


The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.


(Hmmmmmm........)


Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed
people.


(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)


Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.


(OK, so that would be a good thing....)


A cat's urine glows under a black light.


(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)


An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.


(I know some people like that.)


Starfish have no brains.


(I know some people like that too.)


Polar bears are left-handed.


(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)


Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.


(What about that pig??)
posted by Ivan, 6:22 pm | link | 1 comments |

Kimi wins Belgian GP!

Monday, September 12, 2005

Kimi Raikkonen won the Belgian Grand Prix lat weekend after easing ahead of team-mate Montoya in the second pitstops. But Championship rival Alonso took advantage of a late race crash between Montoya and backmarker Antonio Pizzonia to grab eight of the 14 points he needs to secure the Drivers' title.

It was Kimi's sixth race victory of 2005, but I reckon Montoya's unlucky turn of event might have caused Kimi the Championship... twice.

With 3 more races to go... Kimi would need a miracle to edge Alonso in the Championship.
posted by Ivan, 6:14 am | link | 0 comments |

9/11: We remember...

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Here's to the 4th aniversary of the event that sparked off the world as we know today. From Afganistan to Iraq to Bali and to London. Weapons of mass destruction, insecurity, terrorism, bombings, and oil prices... words that have dominated the headlines for the past four years.

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Thinking of it makes me depressed...

9/11... we remember.
posted by Ivan, 12:24 pm | link | 0 comments |

The case of the missing lunch

Friday, September 09, 2005

Article taken off from theage.com.au. A follow-up from the e-mail argument posted yesterday.

I wouldn't trade places with you for the world … I don't want your figure!" squawked one secretary to another during an email exchange that started inside leading legal firm Allens Arthur Robinson late last week, but has since been forwarded to half the lawyers and investment bankers in Melbourne and Sydney.

It all started when the first secretary sent a group email message asking for some financial reimbursement because her lunch — a packet of ham, some cheese slices and two slices of bread — had been swiped from the fridge on level 19 in her Sydney office.

The message was received by another secretary, who, after clicking the "reply all" button, inquired as to whether the aforementioned lunch had simply been misplaced, because she had spotted some similar items in another fridge on level 20.

There was obviously a bit of bad blood between the two because it wasn't long before the exchange spiralled into a catty little game of one-upmanship between the two ladies (we use that term very loosely) as they began arguing over who had the happier relationship, better boyfriend, more beautiful apartment, newer car and — wait for it — higher-paying job.

One girl even impressively claimed to be juggling five boyfriends at once, while our favourite line went something like this: "Let's not get personal, Miss 'Can't Keep A Boyfriend'."

At some point, somebody decided the emails were too good not to share and by the end of the day they had been circulated throughout the firm and made their way into the outside world.

The spat then made its way onto the email servers of PricewaterhouseCoopers, KPMG, JPMorgan, Barclays Capital, Deutsche Bank, HSBC, ABN Amro, Westpac Bank, Macquarie Bank, Deloitte, Phillips Fox, Mallesons, Minter Ellison and Deacons — just to name a few — before popping into Full Disclosure's inbox yesterday.

An Allens Arthur Robinson spokesman was unable to comment on individual staff members, although he said that use of email was "totally unacceptable", as was "that type of treatment of a work colleague".

He said the company would be reiterating its email protocols to all staff.

We hear both ladies are now looking for new jobs and the mystery of the missing lunch remains unsolved.
posted by Ivan, 10:06 pm | link | 0 comments |

Funny fwded e-mail argument

Thursday, September 08, 2005

This forwarded group email has be making it's round in Australia. It's a 'conversation' between two secretary who seem to have something against each other.

The email was forwarded to half the lawyers and investment bankers in Melbourne and Sydney and the spat then made its way onto the email servers of PricewaterhouseCoopers, KPMG, JPMorgan, Barclays Capital, Deutsche Bank, HSBC, ABN Amro, Westpac Bank, Macquarie Bank, Deloitte, Phillips Fox, Mallesons, Minter Ellison and Deacons — just to name a few — before popping into Full Disclosure's inbox yesterday.

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posted by Ivan, 4:01 pm | link | 3 comments |

Unlock Your Car Door with a Hand Phone

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Got this fwd-ed mail this morning via internal email. There was an interesting discussion on this and some claimed to have tried it and works! Here's the email;

If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone on your cell phone.

Hold your hand phone about a foot from your car door and have the other person at your home press the unlock button of your key fob (clicker), holding it near the phone on their end. Your car doors will unlock. Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you.

Distance is no object, you could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other "remote" for your car, you can unlock the doors.


Some claimed it to be a hoax:

Comments: Comforting though it may be to imagine you can unlock your car door in an emergency by receiving a distant signal via your hand phone, it can't possibly work — not with the technology as it now stands, at any rate.

Here's why:

Your remote car key operates by sending a weak, encrypted radio signal to a receiver inside the automobile, which in turn activates the door locks.

Since the system works on radio waves, not sound, the only conceivable way a signal from your spare remote could be picked up by one hand phone and relayed to your car's onboard receiver by another would be if both phones were capable of sending and receiving at exactly the same frequency as the remote itself — which they can't be, given that all remote entry devices operate at frequencies between 300 and 500 MHz, while all mobile phones, by law, operate at 800 MHz and higher.

It's apples vs. oranges, in other words. Your hand phone can no more transmit the type of signal needed to unlock a car door than your remote key is capable of dialing up your Aunt Mary ... though no one can predict what miracles the future may bring.

Source: http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/bl_unlock_door.htm

While some tried to be funny;

I have an old car and I have to use the old fashioned key method.

So, my question is, if I lose my keys, but someone at home has a spare set, can I call them and get them to rotate the key while holding it up to the phone?? Will that work?


Anyways, give it a try and tell me how u go.
posted by Ivan, 10:49 am | link | 0 comments |

Monty wins Italian GP... barely

Monday, September 05, 2005

At Ferrari’s home race, Montoya wins the Italian GP ahead of Alonso and Fisichella. While Raikkonen only managed to finished fourth and provided most of the drama on the track. He just missed out a podium finish despite a spin and an unscheduled tyre stop.

It was an even worse result for the home team, Ferrari, with neither of the Scuderia's cars finishing in the points at their home grand prix.

Looks like, Alonso remains on target to win his first world championship after accomplishing his objective of finishing on the podium in the Italian Grand Prix. He leads Raikkonen by 27 points in the Drivers' World Championship standing. It is now possible for Alonso to win the championship if he finishes ahead of Kimi in the Belgian Grand Prix next week or if Raikkonen fails to finish.
posted by Ivan, 1:34 pm | link | 0 comments |

Lexmark Indy 300 Launch

Friday, September 02, 2005

The streets of Brisbane was transformed into a street circuit for the Indy 300 launch with roads in the city sealed off for the event. Around noon, me and my coleagues went for our 'early' lunch and waited for the event to start.

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It was a quarter past and we were getting restless just waiting around and suddenly we heard a loud roar! We turned our heads to the direction of the sound and we saw a truck making a tight turning... everyone laughed... 'Is that it?' I heard someone asked...

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The cars came 10 minutes later with a police escort and followed by a safety car, an Indy 300 racer, and 2 v8's. Nothing really exciting really. The indy car just did 2 rounds and a couple of spins.

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I followed to crowd to the press conference and managed to catch the interview with the drivers. I don't know anything about Indy and thus, don't know who those drivers are. I reckon they are Aussie drivers. Caught a couple of pics as they walk down from the stage.
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posted by Ivan, 9:34 pm | link | 0 comments |

a BIG ad!

Thursday, September 01, 2005

This is one of the most creative TV ad I've seen so far... by the good ppl at Carlton Draught.

Enjoy!

http://www.bigad.com.au/
posted by Ivan, 3:10 pm | link | 1 comments |