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Signs You Won't Be Winning the Australian Open

Sunday, January 20, 2008

World No.1 Roger Federer averted a grand slam disaster in dramatic fashion at Melbourne Park to keep alive his Australian Open title defence.

Federer rallied from two-sets-to-one down to squeeze out a 6-7 (5-7) 7-6 (7-1) 5-7 6-1 10-8 victory over unseeded Serb Janko Tipsarevic in an epic encounter stretching 4hrs 27 mins!! The great Swiss admitted defeat crossed his mind as Tipsarevic played the match of his life.

Despite his troubles, Federer survived – escaping his earliest exit at a grand slam since faltering in the third round of the 2004 French Open...

having said that, here are signs You Won't Be Winning the Australian Open:

Doing a single sit-up makes you grunt louder than Maria Sharapova

Somehow, most of your opponent's serves hit you in the back of the head

After your last match, it took twelve firemen to untangle you from the net

You keep missing serves because you're trying to light your crack pipe

You spend hours at a time trying to taste your racket's "sweet spot"

Halfway through match, ballboy says, "S$%^& you -- get your own!"

The only thing you've ever served is an Arch Deluxe at the local McDonald's

You're often mistaken for a doubles team

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posted by Ivan, 9:09 am


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